Day 75 & 76 - Somalian Cell Signal

As a regular read of these scribbles you will know by now that my most recent purchase of a Blackberry smartphone catapulted me into 2011. With its steroid induced artificial intelligence I can chat with fellow blackberrians in all corners of the globe, I am connected permanently via e mail to all and sundry (the fact that I need a microscope to read an attachment is neither here nor there). Because of its ease, I am now so into my social network that I am even leaving the odd status update and the scary part...I am going back to check if anyone commented on it (admit it, you do the same).

And, the kicker? I can even make a phone call from this thing. How about that!

Unless of course you happen to choose to live in the only village in the northern hemisphere without cellphone signal. There are villages in Somalia and Siberia with better signal and connectivity to the outside world. I have mental images of some Somalian with his brass bangled neck laughing at me while he sends a text to his mate in the next village. I have images of the village being flooded out or burnt to the ground and no body knowing about it for days because they couldn't get hold of anyone from the cellphone as they fled in terror. In Siberia, when the snow comes they phone for take away pizza and maybe for Mr Delivery to deliver some more firewood, here in this village they huddle around the worthless phone for warmth when the winter comes. It is truly an irony that in this affluent village where today I saw, parked, a Rolls, several Beemers, Audis & Mercs and also a Bentley amongst other cars people can't make a cell phone call - it also dawned on me now that maybe this is why they can afford the smart cars, and why there is no phone shop there either.

I felt naked. I checked my pocket often hoping beyond reason that the signal fairy had arrived. Maybe she will one day. I have put my fingers on diet in preparation for being able to use the microscopic buttons with panache. Maybe to no avail? Maybe I won't after all, I won't enter the fastest finger competition at the library this summer. Maybe they will not now accept my now worthless made in China strawberry as collateral for additional airtime. Ah, the good old days of full strength signal reception are a thing of the past. Such good memories they are. Such good times we had.

I have also today reminded myself that too much beer in one night is not a good thing for concentration the next morning. It was done in the spirit of having a look at the competition. That was my excuse anyway, there have been more feeble ones than that in the past so I feel safe with that one. But beer is beer and it seems to have the same effect on me regardless of the occasion. Is that normal? Maybe I'm just out of practice?

The days of using someone else's computer are now quickly coming to an end. This will mean that you will get to read a new episode of this stuff everyday - hopefully from this Saturday? But don't hold your breath 'cos anything can happen between now and then! That's it for the moment. To my Somalian and Siberian friends out there, who will probably get to read this before I will, I hope you enjoyed the plug.

Until tomorrow.