And the award for "Lets wrap this fucker up so tight they'll never get it open" goes to - the audience goes silent for this Be Proud, Have an Enormous Global Carbon Footprint Annual awards, the Master of Ceremonies clears his throat, a single spotlight lights up the podium - goes to...the makers and wrappers of the new Grolsch umbrellas (that we just received)! Ta da! I can hear the maybe confused applause from where I sit.
Last night we were in the final throes of unpacking stuff, and pretty much the last stuff were the umbrellas - which we are grateful for as we did get them for free- the cardboard packaging was about 2 meters tall double skinned export quality fluted cardboard, stapled together and stuck with copious amounts of packing tape. Like Christmas, we tore it open, expecting to see the all familiar logo of this popular - here anyway - product. But alas no. Inside this packaging was yet more cardboard, double skinned and fluted again with even more staples and packaging tape. So, like Christmas we tore at it again. Only this time the familiar green of the umbrellas shone like a beacon, from inside a sealed thick plastic bag. I think this might be a case of overkill. The umbrellas will now stand in the beer garden for eternity. They will not fade in the sun because there is no sun. They will stand in the rain and probably the snow until they rot and go back to the earth. Ok Ok a bit melodramatic here I know - when they look a bit tatty I'll ask for some more and these will go in the bin! Dust to dust they say. My ass.
Next time Philemon tells you he is tired you should believe him because take it from me he probably is. I have worked like him, I may even smell a bit but at least I go to bed knowing that tomorrow many people will be enjoying the pleasures of my Fanta Brown (thanks Bev!) and hopefully they will part willingly with their salary and maybe even their dole cheque. And hopefully they will come back the next day, and the next day. But of that I shall tell you more in due course...
Today was spent on a training course. All day in fact. But it was interesting and I did learn that watching paint dry could possibly, and probably, be more exciting. I also learnt that I am maybe a little different from other people in this trade. And on my return to the pub I duly discovered that people, the workers, here are no different to what I am accustomed to. That certain grades of jobs I think are naturally whiney. Like the cleaning role for example. That started today. I don't have the patience to babysit adults so my new motto is FIFO. Know what they mean? And finally, I also discovered on my return that the tarmac people had been and hopefully have not finished...because if they have I am part gravel, part tar and I am below the man hole cover. Tomorrow we shall find out.
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