If it hadn’t been for Joe ‘Chunky Charlie’ Bloggs last night we would not have been privileged to witness an astounding and quite frankly an awe inspiring performance and application of law and order performed by the popcorn police.
Our eldest, at the very horrible age of thinking she is eighteen but is only twelve, and her equally horribly aged cousin who thinks he a London gangsta went, last night, driven by us, to the movies. Whilst queuing somewhat patiently for popcorn and a coke (let me add here…£7.50 for a medium package deal of these treats!) ‘ol Chunky Charlie, wandering by behind the queue let slip his large Coke onto the floor. Looking savagely nonchalant about this ecological mishap ‘ol Chunky, stepped over his now carbon footprint and blissfully unaware of what was coming disappeared into the crowd. As this happened only a meter or two in front of me I stood and watched the bedlam that ensued as up to 6 staff members, mouths glued to their two way radio’s scrambled the defences of the Vue.
First in was someone who looked like he was in charge. He may not have been but certainly these well trained people and super conscious champions of health and safety have a policy of who is first on the scene controls the scene. Barking instructions into his comms about the major spillage in the foyer – I kid you not - others came running, the first arriving with what appeared to be an overgrown roll of toilet paper and an industrial type long handled dustpan and brush. Seeing the scale of the disaster he quickly dropped his evidently useless equipment and quickly found a high visibility A shaped warning sign lest a member of the public wet their feet. This was only the first of a number of A shaped warning signs to appear. In the meantime, the leader was rolling out the toilet paper by the meter, hoping it would absorb the calamity of the spill. Team member three arrived on the scene, him too with a dustpan and brush, his thousand yard show me the popcorn stare piercing the gloom of the foyer. Seeing that he was ill equipped he too found a High Vis warning sign before calling for a Mike Bravo – this must mean mop bucket because it was only a minute or two before one of these, high visibility and yellow of course, arrived, and a semblance of order started to resume. The tide had turned on the disaster and the perseverance of this dedicated team was starting to reap results. Team members, including the Queue supervisor – he was the one with the high visibility armband that said ‘Queue’ on it had smoothly and it appears effortlessly managed people away so as preserve the integrity of the scene and not to disturb men at work.
A job well done as yet another pressured employee arrived. The adrenalin was subsiding as the tired laughter dwindled away. People would receive commendations for this beyond the call of duty action. In an A4 poster frame, deep in the bowels of the Westfield mall would appear a picture of The Employee of the Month, all bets on the leader who successfully led his team to success against all odds.
The horrible ones had disappeared into a cinema. What the missus and I had been privileged enough to witness was better than any movie could hope to be.
More Westfield excitement to come. Until tomorrow.
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