Day 77 - From Durban nogal!

Yes, it has been a while I know and those who have more perseverance than I would have probably had the extra energy to find an internet connected PC and slog away at the words of my blog. I did not have that energy, what with the trans- continental move and as my luck would have it to a home in an English village without, currently a telephone connection (although BT was here today to do a site survey – yes a site survey in a village that has existed for a millennia) and even worse right now to a place without mobile phone signal.

I have whined before in this forum about mobile phones but hell, without it it’s a problem. OK I’m lying. In the kitchen of this flat above a pub I can occasionally get a bar of signal, in the function room if you sit fairly low by the second window the signal can be up to two bars, at the top of the car park, sometimes, you can also get one bar of signal. How can this be? In this day and age? So I went into the Vodafone shop and asked. Using my postcode they identified that this village has very poor signal. Really? Is it going to change I hastened to ask? Unlikely sir was the answer. Great. Next thing I’m going to have to give it a whir and ask the operator to connect me. Long distance sir, they will ask? Fucking right it is without phone signal.

So what can I tell you about the green countryside of England? Our experiences in the past two weeks have varied. Obviously, and even though we lived here before, everything is new. Things that would be taken for granted by others and no doubt by us in a few months’ time are jumping at us as we experience the difference between here and South Africa. The memories of the mundane stuff in SA will fade in time but right now we can compare because everything is still fresh. We have found overall that service levels here, in banks, in supermarkets, garden centres, the local council etc. is much better (maybe because English is their first language?) and its better I think because people seem to go out of their way to tell you the whole story in detail. It’s almost as if they’ve been trained to put themselves into their customer’s shoes when explaining something. They also seem to be more trusting of people’s intentions. And maybe that’s a cultural thing – in SA we have lived in an untrusting environment behind fences and bars for at least all my lifetime.

The other thing that we have found is that supermarkets seem to be substantially cheaper here than there. That opinion, once we are earning pounds, may also change in time. Granted it is very much a consumer society but when things are less than half of what we were paying only a few weeks ago – and this at R11 / £1 – you have to ask the question about whether or not SA is being ripped by the big chains. Staying with supermarkets, we are also finding the available variety of stuff quite interesting. Again this stuff we probably won’t even notice in a few months’ time but right now it’s an adventure as we discover new stuff for the first time. And the specials are incredible…and take it from me I’m not a shopper!

Petrol is expensive but I think affordable? The drive between London and here is about 230km and there is not one toll road. Yes the traffic volume is intense but I didn’t see a single accident or signs of an accident and oddly I have only seen one police vehicle. One of the memories I had of Britain before was that was bit of a police state where everybody nodded their heads and obeyed. My view of that is changing. Speaking to a range of people I am reaching the view that there is an under the surface rebelliousness in the English about all the rules they have to live to. I wonder if this society sub consciously knows that it has survived thousands of years and will survive thousands more after the current century or so of do gooders have ruled them. That’s quite deep so let move on.

Their newspapers just about all earn gold stars for bashing Britain, even though it seems to be a society that generally works. Yes it appears that they have an immigration problem, hey they let me in! Seriously, in this village, the pizza place across the road seems to owned and run by Turks, John the Greek owns the fish n chip shop and the pub down the high street is run by a South African, from Durban nogal! I’m sure there are other foreigners like yours truly but I am yet to discover them. The upside of this place? They have public transport, and it works. The roads that I have been on so far are pot hole free. The driving is polite but probably a bit boring; the choice of deli’s and coffee shops leaves you confused and seriously over coffee’ed.

And then you have the schools. As you know, my offspring are of school going age and so one of the things we have done this week is to go and try find them schools to go to. Once again we have astounded by how hospitable everyone has been. The two schools have welcomed us in with open arms. Hastily arranged we have gone on tours of these institutions. They are not necessarily better than at least Toti primary but wow, the facilities and resource is world class. Contrary to what the movies show the kids are uniformed and so far it seems reasonably respectful. The sports facilities are very advanced and just about every sport you can think of is offered. And – this is the best bit - there are no school fees. None at all. Nada. Gratis.

So far so good anyway. We are here to hopefully make some money and get our lives back on track and so to that end we will try and integrate with our local village community as much as they will accept us. We have decided this time to stay as much below the radar as possible. Time will of course tell how that turns out because as you know I’m not very good at following.

Until tomorrow then. It’s good to be back. Hopefully for good.

Day 75 & 76 - Somalian Cell Signal

As a regular read of these scribbles you will know by now that my most recent purchase of a Blackberry smartphone catapulted me into 2011. With its steroid induced artificial intelligence I can chat with fellow blackberrians in all corners of the globe, I am connected permanently via e mail to all and sundry (the fact that I need a microscope to read an attachment is neither here nor there). Because of its ease, I am now so into my social network that I am even leaving the odd status update and the scary part...I am going back to check if anyone commented on it (admit it, you do the same).

And, the kicker? I can even make a phone call from this thing. How about that!

Unless of course you happen to choose to live in the only village in the northern hemisphere without cellphone signal. There are villages in Somalia and Siberia with better signal and connectivity to the outside world. I have mental images of some Somalian with his brass bangled neck laughing at me while he sends a text to his mate in the next village. I have images of the village being flooded out or burnt to the ground and no body knowing about it for days because they couldn't get hold of anyone from the cellphone as they fled in terror. In Siberia, when the snow comes they phone for take away pizza and maybe for Mr Delivery to deliver some more firewood, here in this village they huddle around the worthless phone for warmth when the winter comes. It is truly an irony that in this affluent village where today I saw, parked, a Rolls, several Beemers, Audis & Mercs and also a Bentley amongst other cars people can't make a cell phone call - it also dawned on me now that maybe this is why they can afford the smart cars, and why there is no phone shop there either.

I felt naked. I checked my pocket often hoping beyond reason that the signal fairy had arrived. Maybe she will one day. I have put my fingers on diet in preparation for being able to use the microscopic buttons with panache. Maybe to no avail? Maybe I won't after all, I won't enter the fastest finger competition at the library this summer. Maybe they will not now accept my now worthless made in China strawberry as collateral for additional airtime. Ah, the good old days of full strength signal reception are a thing of the past. Such good memories they are. Such good times we had.

I have also today reminded myself that too much beer in one night is not a good thing for concentration the next morning. It was done in the spirit of having a look at the competition. That was my excuse anyway, there have been more feeble ones than that in the past so I feel safe with that one. But beer is beer and it seems to have the same effect on me regardless of the occasion. Is that normal? Maybe I'm just out of practice?

The days of using someone else's computer are now quickly coming to an end. This will mean that you will get to read a new episode of this stuff everyday - hopefully from this Saturday? But don't hold your breath 'cos anything can happen between now and then! That's it for the moment. To my Somalian and Siberian friends out there, who will probably get to read this before I will, I hope you enjoyed the plug.

Until tomorrow.

Day 74 - Strawberry Giant

I know that we are new at this whole first world thing. That we lived here in the past counts for nothing as we have become accustomed to SA's ways - good and bad -  and traded sometimes our frustration with piss poor service levels for the beauty and warmth of the weather and the lazy lifestyle. 

I am not claiming oracle status in these few days of first world status and I'm not even sure what I think yet but our experiences so far suggest that the service staff who inhabit this part of the planet are either more tuned into service, or more educated, or better trained, or better paid or just give more of a shit. I wrote briefly yesterday about the experience in the bank with Joe Bloggs the bank employee who spent lots of time giving us some valuable street advice on what to expect, there was also the uniformed BIG Bus company guy who explained to these tourists (us) about the ins and outs of seeing the sights in London, today it was the second hand car salesmen who spent literally hours going over a car with us, all the ins and out, all the pitfalls, all the benefits.

I don't know what it is; maybe its just me, maybe I've become in tune with it because of the work I did back in SA but here it seems that you can afford to let your guard down a bit, it seems (and I hesitate to write this as I touch wood and know that I might be wrong and perhaps a little pre emptive about this!) that, wait for it, not everyone is trying to rip you off. There I have said it, I have bought curse upon myself.

The whole strawberry thing progresses along slowly (if you're a tad lost right now I am talking about my recent purchase of a blackberry smart phone). My fingers I think have not slimmed down to pencil points so typing on this thing is proving menacingly tedious. At least I am in touch with all who have one and receiving mostly one way chat - it would be two way if I could type faster and more accurately - the first person to invent voice chat will be the winner....oh wait...that would be the telephone!  At least I am now available on facebook at every given moment of the day and of course of the night too with my beeping and pinging all dancing its smart but I'm not phone. Now at least I can be important and clever and be on the phone all the time, even if I'm only exploring my voyeuristic tendencies by staring at other's profiles and more often than not their mountains of 'this is my kid' photographs.

I am tempted to try out twitter too...maybe I'll too have no one following me like some I know (that must be depressing and ego damaging?)

Anyway, I am digressing from the completely one sided opinion of what good service should be and who should be delivering it. I am suitably and so far impressed with what I have received and will try and remember these prophetic (?) words in the months and years to come. As a side note again; I mentioned the car salesman earlier. We were again at Car Giant - this time having a better look round. And i reckon there is probably five or six or seven thousand cars on this one site. That is a lot of cars making the one owner of this business some pretty serious cash! The sales guy talked about them selling some three to four thousand cars a month from this one site. Crazy volumes and imagine the logistics around all that.

Until tomorrow, hope you have a great day.

Day 73 - London Town

This is going to sound proper tourist. We have spent most of today on one of those open double decker busses that you wouldn’t be caught dead on in your home town. The type where it costs you a month’s wages and you plug your complimentary headphones in and listen to the commentary, the types where every sentence starts with ‘”And if you look to your  left now you will see...” and then proceeds to inform you of the historical significance of whatever it is.

So, let’s put this into perspective, I once lived in and about London for the best part of a decade. I have driven its streets, walked its pavements and drunk in its many bars and pubs, but today there were moments of revelation. Today I saw London in a different light; today I travelled with my eyes open. Today, in the esteemed company of my  loin fruit and my significantly better half, we saw and heard about buildings and institutions that were in use 1000 years before the white man, later the colonialists and despised builder of all things infrastructural, arrived in South Africa. We travelled to and fro across the Thames’s many bridges, we smelt the smog, pointed at the various movie sets and scenes that we have seen in a variety of films and marvelled at the many green spaces (seriously a shit load of green spaces)   – and even chuckled at the many office workers catching the bits of sun than speckled though the clouds – we felt the vibe, albeit from the top of the bus, of London, we saw the harried expressions of London’s people as they went about their Monday grind.

And we took many photographs, in front of Buckingham Palace, in Trafalgar square and just about everywhere else. With the modern marvels of smart phones we also posted these happy snaps, and posted them and posted them....Ah yes, tourists we were today!

On a more serious note I was also amazed today at what seems to be an entrepreneurial spirit that flourishes in this city. Every street is peppered with what looks like independent businesses, coffee shops, cafe’s, flower shops, bars, restaurants, hair dressers, you name it,  it was all there. And they all seem to have business, all had people going in and out on this Monday afternoon. I suppose in a city of some reportedly 14 million people one would expect this. I suppose also that in a city that never sleeps and a city that is so in demand for tourists it is to be expected. Wandering the gates of Buckingham Palace it occurred to me that there were probably more international tourists there at that point that Durban would see in a month. I made that stat up ok but the point is, there were a lot of them and only on one occasion today did we hear a British accent. Once again I kid you not.

How did I miss this the last time I was here?  Did we take life a bit too seriously the last time, when we lived here? Were we so blind to what was right here in front of us, were we so arrogant as to not see the beauty of what London has to offer. And more importantly, will we still be in this frame of mind and see it in a year or two’s time? I hope so. I can’t promise to spend my kids inheritance on taking the bus again but I will try and feel its energy when we come back.

As a side note, I had the absolute pleasure of dealing with a bloke today who is one of these personal bankers from Barclays bank. We needed to get some admin up to date and WOW is all I can say. Amazing service from this guy, completely willing to give us some incredible advice, completely made us feel like we were the best thing that happened to him today. 

Until tomorrow then, bring it on!

Day 70, 71 & 72 - Sweet Donuts

Here we sit in London, the start of a new chapter, the start of new beginnings. Outside it is still light, it is 9pm and will probably be light for another hour or so. This may be a normal part of your life, you may be used to this and yes, before you feel inclined to advise me of the seasons of the Europe I know it is summer and that winter its dark by 4pm. On a good day.

The point is that it is different. And today and yesterday, and the day before it has been different. Maybe because we realise that this is the start of a new life and so are seeing and smelling things that maybe we won't see and smell in a years time. Maybe we are appreciating the things that will hold less appeal later. Like this mall we went too ealier. I've never seen anything like it. Certainly bigger than others I have been into but also filled with an aray of shops and stores that beggars belief. From Louis Vuitton to Waitrose and everything inbetween, a selection of 'I haven't seen before' restaurants and eating style establishments, clothes shops with queues running from them to get in, girlbands belting out tunes to a crowd of maybe a thousand followers with security staff keeping the fans away, behind the barriers. A sweet donut type place, probably no bigger than 12 square meters in total but with 12 staff - I counted - behind the counter, each one them run off their feet. Recession? What recession?

I sound like a bit of a country bumpkin writing this. I have become accustomed to accepting what was on offer - I'm talking malls here before someone starts to get sensitive - in SA, and some of it was very good but there is nothing that compares to what I saw today. I kid you not.

It has also been a weekend for experiences, yesterday on arrival, I had the quickest and easiest passage through immigration at Heathrow I have ever experienced. Not even one trying or probing question. Remember, I am old school and a veteran of hours long interrogation at this very same entry point but people who I swear had seen me coming with my green mamba passport. Ever since, it must be said, I have had a healthy respect for immigration.
The youngest of my fruit experienced the uncomfortableness of cattle class, long haul, for the first time. Both of them, experienced public transport, the tube, for the first time. My oldest was hit on, twice, by men old enough to know better - if there had been a third I may not have been writing this. I have a certain protective urge and a quick elbow that may well have come to the fore had it happened again! We have also wandered around the biggest second hand car lot on the planet (interested in a Chrysler Voyager 2.4 LX, 3 years old, 12000 miles, £7800 - anyone know if this is a good car / price?), admittedly this is their own marketing so I have no idea if its true, we have braaied, fortunately not in the rain but chilly enough to not stand around the fire with a beer in hand. We have tried to play football in the park, only to be rained out after a few minutes.

And I have also joined the world of Black Berry. Now this is an interesting mobile phone, especially if you have big fingers. Instant access to all things social networkings and it seems substantially cheaper than what they cost in SA. Chat this and chat that, email connectivity and everything that I said I wouldn't do with a mobile phone! But hey I have now joined the revolution I am told. My status as B.C. is at risk. I am getting in touch apparently. I am arriving. I risk being in with the youth, if only to learn from them on how to work this bloody thing.

And finally, for today. We have been welcomed into familes home here like long lost friends. The generosity has been staggering, almost overwhelming. I look forward to telling you more as the days unfold.

Until tomorrow.

Day 68 & 69 - Tickling Splurge

There is one thing that I have come to realise in the last few days. Having a computer should be a basic human right, especially for those who have been previously and recently dispossessed of one.

I am definitely not a technogeek at all but yet I am feeling weak without my circuitry, without my trusty laptop. I write this now from a mates borrowed computer, tickling away on the keyboard while we drink beer at his house, on a public holiday no less! There are certain things that do not endear you to others and one of them should be disturbing hard working people on their rare mid week days off. So, you know who you are, thank you for allowing me to do this.

The journey previously described starts tomorrow, in one more sleep. Emotions have been laid out, especially for the older of the offspring, cases have been packed and stress has been vented. I will miss most of the people but I hopefully leave good memories in some who I have got to know. A new place is waiting for us filled with new smells, people and experiences. We shall try too to make inroads into that community like we have done here. We have learnt a few lessons, we will be better at what do.

This is a strange time in my life. The thoughts and my incedible and sought after wit (ok it could just be my over inflated impression of  myself talking here!) are struggling to get to the front today. Perhaps I will be able to resurrect them in the following days, I will certainly try! 

I am everyday curious to know who actually reads this splurge of words. One of the things that blogspot allows you to do is to see from which country people log on from. The latest is from Iran of all places - so to you in Iran, whoever you are, welcome to my world. I sincerely hope I don't offend you too much. To those it seems regular readers in Italy and the Seychelles - big up to you, those in Germany, US, Canada, UAE, Thailand - ditto!!

Thats it for today. Will try and write tomorrow but it's gonna be a busy day me thinks!

Until tomorrow....maybe!

Day 67 - Forgiveness

And so the journey starts. With a whimper right now but in a sleep or two it will reach a crescendo of some considerable stressful note. In a sleep or two, we shall recline - if that is the right term in cattle class and reflect on the past and of new beginnings. We shall wonder what lies in store for us on the other side; whether we will be accepted by an alien culture, remarkably different to our own.

To get to this point we have had to succeed momentously - this was never the plan let me add in haste, less some pathetic but sensitive soul decide for me that it was -  at completely pissing off an element of  people we have employed and served for a decade or more. We have it seems alienated ourselves from organisations that not long ago clambered for our business. We have succeeded to fail in a recession and let it be said this is where many have been before us. We have succeeded in becoming unpopular because calling a spade a spade is now apparently a social crime. We have voiced our view on a local protection racket, we have chosen to stay away from people who are as fake as wrestlers. We are guilty of associating some with others unfairly.We have a zero tolerance for those who use and deal drugs (and yet to this day it is still a hot topic in which I am discussed). And for this what do we get?  A slap in the face and a banishment. And this is from  the people that we know. This is from people and pastors that I schooled with, this is from 'family', mates and colleagues.

Forgive me for wanting to go. Forgive me for being cynical about the motives of others. Forgive me for being bitter to people who have been in my house but now won't look me in the eye, people who won't accept my apology for my wrongs - and there are a few (wrongs I mean). Please forgive me for wanting to better the lot of my family, please forgive me for my mistakes. There will be many more different ones in the future. I ask you to accept those too.

To the 'friends' who are consumed by their importance, I look forward to meeting you again in the future - hopefully when you are more comfortable in your own skin. To the people that I have only recently met, thank you for accepting me for who I am. I look forward to meeting you again in the future too. To the mates, new and particularly old who really don't give a shit about what I do, you too are welcome.

And to my extended family. This blip in the solar system is now the global village. Communication is now easier and quicker than ever before. I will try and take advantage of this as I hope you do.

Until tomorrow.