Beer, beer everywhere but not a drop to drink. Or was that supposed to be water? I can never remember. I suppose unlike salt water, this beer is very palatable but not wanting to beer (sorry Freudian slip I think) confused with someone else who does similar things to me I try - and this will news to those who know me but I have grown up eventually I think, well OK maybe not actually grown up completely yet but on track to be mature, more sensible and not to overdo it too often anymore.
Until this coming Saturday anyway. This Saturday marks the first of what I suppose will be a few bonding sessions with the staff of this place. I say the first of few because hedging my bets here I am bound to have changes of people in the time to come so will need to sacrifice more generously as it happens to properly welcome them to the team. I cannot be accused of lacking in generosity.
Having hosted events like this before, like I have said previously any excuse will do, this is what will probably happen. It'll start off relatively quietly, a bit subdued even, and once the lubricant which occurs naturally in alcohol starts to take effect, the volume will start to increase, the youngest of the team will try and drink the most in the shortest possible amount of time and will no doubt be the first to throw their name away, for some never to be found again. The flash of cameras will remind everyone of the need to put everything on fb, every comment, every joke, every revelation and for some this will mean embarrassing moments and explanations in the morning when their mothers open their status updates. As the evening wears on, so the cleverer ones will try and both understand and solve the worlds problems. Complex rationality and reasoning that defies all logic will prevail and at some point all present, especially the young ones, will profess to have the answer to the crisis in Libya or Afghanistan, some will be so emotional about these two situations that they will commit themselves to joining the armed forces at first light. Of course they never will, until the next session anyway.
And the older of us will sit back, drink in hand and wise to the path of these parties and watch the future memories unfold. We shall be reminded of our age repeatedly by the younger element amongst us but come the end of the night we shall most likely be still standing and yes, still in charge of the camera so that these drunken moments are forever captured and of course shared with all our hundreds of friends and of course friends of friends. And in the morning, the elders amongst us will still get up to do a days work. We shall no doubt be hungover and the day will be a battle, especially to keep the porcelain smile gleaming. The youngsters will oversleep and may not even arrive at work, citing tiredness of course. We shall all promise never to do it again, until next time of course.
And that is how Saturday night will probably go. There are of course other scenarios which involve copious amounts of gold Tequila and maybe even a bit of jagermeister but that would just be too awful to contemplate. Oh and one final point, when it gets to stupid o clock and I'm the one standing on the table (looking for my name in the rafters) shouting 'big or small fuck em all' you know it might be time to call it a night. Forewarned is forearmed. Or something like that.
Until tomorrow.
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